Find a way or find an excuse...

I read somewhere that if you want something...really want something...you'll find a way. If not...you'll find an excuse.

I think it's more complicated than that.

The first thing is, and I know I say this a lot, but it's a simple and powerful truth: If you don't know what you want, all the other things are hard to do...finding the way, knowing what to do etc.

So if you know what you want, and you've found a way, excellent. You can stop reading here.

However, if you're like a lot of us, and I always include myself in this group because, you know, human...read on.

As humans, our default setting, or one of them at least, is to avoid pain. That can become a sticking point when you're looking at what you want, because often, it's framed by what you want to avoid, rather than what you desire.

• I don't want to be in debt when I retire.

• I don't want to be out of shape.

• I don't want to stay in this job.

You get the picture...

This is all good information...knowing what you don't want. It's the next important step that gets missed most of the time...declaring what you do want. Putting that destination in your GPS so you can start heading there. Until you do this you're gonna stay in that cycle.

Don't beat yourself up for it...this is normal!

Here are some things that can show up as "excuses":

Avoidance, procrastination...and let's not forget the mother of them all...fear.

And...if you're framing what you want by declaring what you don't want, of course you're going to procrastinate, avoid and be afraid...it makes total sense!

So what do you do?

Learn to question yourself when you find yourself declaring what you don't want or want to avoid.

It's easier said than done. That's why a lot of the work I do with clients...and I mean probably 80% of it initially, is stopping them when they're talking, to reframe what they're saying. Then training them to notice when it's happening. Once they're paying attention, they stop, take a breath, and ask themselves: "What do I want instead?" This simple act redirects their attention to what they want versus staying in avoidance or procrastination. It interrupts the cycle.

Simple but not easy...at first.  You have to make this your new habit and that takes time and practice.



Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Are you figuring out what you want right now? As always...it doesn't have to be the "big thing" just somewhere where you'd like to be a bit more clear. That thing.

It al starts with clarity, making sure it's what you want. Here are some tips to foster clarity.

• Clarity can't enter a mind that's already full.

  • You need to create space first.

  • Start with a few deep breaths. 

• Listen to your body. Not just your thoughts.

  • It's true that our bodies often know what's right long before our minds catch up. It can show up as tension in your shoulders when you're discussing a certain option that doesn't resonate, or an expansive feeling in your chest when you're considering something and it feels right.

  • It's a practice worth exploring.

• Get rid of the external noise.

  • That could mean staying off social media or listening to podcasts, but maybe most importantly, others' opinions.

  • All of this can cloud your instincts.

• When you get that insight, no matter how small, take one action.

  • You don't have to have a fully formed plan to get going.

Unfortunately, clarity isn't something you find once and possess forever. It's definitely a practice. Clearing space in your head. Listening to your body. Getting rid of all the external noise and allowing the insight to come.

Now you have a plan. Try it out!

Need some help finding your "instead?" Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann
*Confidence *Mindset *Performance Coach *Author 
www.steppingstonecoaching.ca

Find a way…or find an excuse.

How are you with waiting?

According to Tom Petty..."The waiting is the hardest part" and these were his thoughts ~46 years ago!

How do you feel about waiting?

Whether it's sitting with a problem, planning something, finding out a result...we are no longer accustomed to waiting.

We live in a world where waiting is unheard of and information is hurtling towards us at warp speed.  

I've been sitting with this idea recently...the idea of waiting and the inherent discomfort that comes with it. In our instant gratification culture...the idea of waiting feels like a radical act.


When do you have a tough time waiting?

Maybe for you:

• It's rushing to your phone to answer that text immediately.

• Jumping to conclusions and getting 10 steps ahead of a situation.

• Being patient about finding a solution to a problem.

Perhaps you had something else that came to mind for you.

Waiting feels tough...because it is tough!

But....have you ever considered what waiting can offer you?

Waiting provides time to process and be more intentional. When you're intentional...when you know what you want and maybe more importantly, how you want to show up...the odds of you getting that thing go up exponentially.

Waiting provides time for wisdom to emerge.

Waiting is uncomfortable because it leaves you in the space of "not knowing" and that can feel incredibly scary because it feels uncertain and we like certainty.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Real life happens. Imagine you receive an email or text that fires you up and you're ready to send one back immediately. Take radical action by finding the gift in waiting. Waiting is not avoidance, rather, it's a chance to:

• Press the pause button.

  • Before the "knee jerk" reaction, take several deep, intentional breaths.

• Process information.

  • Actually take in the information and really think it through.

• Discover your next move with clarity.

There's gold there. Being able to get to a place where you're prepared. A place where you're responding rather than reacting...and...it doesn't have to take a long time. Depending on the situation, it could be a conscientious five minutes before answering a contentious email. Really. 

Need some help reframing waiting? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann
*Confidence *Mindset *Performance Coach *Author 
www.steppingstonecoaching.ca

How are you with waiting?

We are what we repeatedly do.

 "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." often attributed to Aristotle however, it's actually Will Durant** ...I know! I was surprised too!

The gist is...whatever you repeatedly do is essentially who you become. All of those small habits and behaviours accumulate over time. That's powerful.

So, who are you right now? Are you happy with this rendition of you? The good news is, you can definitely change your trajectory and move towards the version of you you would prefer to be.

How are you doing?

Me? I've been off to slow start this year. Some of the usual stuff....got sick, had a family situation for a couple weeks...you know...life. I finally feel like I'm ready to fully embrace 2026...put the pedal to the metal!

So why did I quote Durant**?

Because at the beginning of this year, when I was setting my vision for 2026 I asked myself a question and the answer I got stopped me in my tracks. "If you continue to do the things you're doing what's gonna be happening in year from now? What's your world gonna look like?"

Well, I got my answer...in most aspects of my life I liked where it was going. I liked the trajectory...but in others, I wasn't too happy with what I was seeing. If I continued to do or not do some things that have been niggling at me.

The theme that keeps popping up for me is momentum. Starting to do the things that I've been neglecting to do and recognizing the value of making a plan to do them. I have a plan now and it's cool to see how momentum builds as I take on this plan...one week at a time, seeing the changes that are happening by this simple conscious effort of taking one step...consistently.

That's where the magic is...consistency.

If I continue this momentum and look down the road, instead of not liking what I see, I'm now excited to be moving towards different possibilities. Possibilities that I wouldn't have seen had I not started with asking a question and noticing the answer.

How about you?

How would you answer these questions:

• If I continue to do the things I'm doing what's going to be happening in year from now?

• What's my world going to look like?

• Are you happy with these answers?

Could you use some momentum?


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Is there something you've been holding back on. Maybe it's something you know would be valuable for you to do but it's not at the top of your list of favourite things to do, so you're letting it slide. Or, is it something you continue to do and you're questioning why you're doing it?

Check-in with yourself.

Look ahead...even a year, and ask yourself:

• If I continue not to do this, what will my outcome be?

• If I continue to do this, what will my outcome be?

• Are you satisfied with what the outcome is?

  • If so, keep going.

  • If not, it's never too late to make a plan and take your first step...that small act starts the momentum.

When I think of momentum I imagine a large structure made of dominoes where all it takes is one small nudge to start a chain reaction. Where a small initial output of energy can cause progressively larger objects to move, where each domino passes its energy to the next and the next.

Momentum...it starts small and the potential is huge.

It all starts with a question...a plan...and a little nudge. Then watch the momentum build. 

Need some help with finding your momentum? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann
*Confidence *Mindset *Performance Coach *Author 
www.steppingstonecoaching.ca

**Will Durant first wrote this phrase in a small book titled ‘The Story of Philosophy,’ published less than a century ago. He gives an overview of the major philosophers of each age, and summarizes their contributions to the philosophical canon.

We are what we repeatedly do…

You will get the lesson...until you get the lesson.

You'll get the lesson...until you get the lesson.

How many times do you catch yourself saying "here we go again"?

It's probably not a coincidence. If you track back through the situation...you'll find a pattern. A pattern that's driving you to continue to do the same behaviours while expecting a different result.

Tracking backwards...that's where you're going to find the clues...the behaviours, the mindset, the habits. But you have to be willing to do it. You have to be aware enough to notice that you are the common denominator when things happen repeatedly. You.That's where it starts.

That doesn't mean that other people aren't a part of it and...you are the only one who you have complete control over. You can learn to manage how you show up, which gives you incredible power. The power to influence the outcome of the situation...on your terms.

Now that's powerful.

The next time you catch yourself saying "here we go again"...

Notice...

• Maybe there's someone else in this situation.

  • This can be really helpful information, because it can help you to see that when this certain thing happens, there's something about that person that perhaps contributes to, or leads into this situation.

Again, you have to choose awareness...to be willing at some point to ask yourself: Is this how I want my story to continue? If the answer is no...you have all the power in the world to make that decision and then to take action to change.

Simple? Yes. Easy? Not necessarily.

Changing old patterns takes concentrated practice. Once you know what the common denominator or denominators are, then you can start to decide what that one change is that you're gonna make.

It could be changing your response or reaction to a situation. When you don't react or respond, like you usually do, you're now changing the trajectory of that situation. One small change in how you show up, will change how the situation unfolds.

The cool thing is that it doesn't have to be a huge change, it could be something like:

• Taking a pause before you respond.

• Not saying anything at all. 

• Changing your typical response.

It can be the tiniest of changes that you decide to make.

• Pause before you answer that text.

• Don't pick up the phone when that certain situation is presenting itself. Let it go to voicemail.

These are small, yet very powerful ways to start to make change happen for you. When you change your response, your reaction, you are changing your outcome.

Are you ready to learn the lesson?

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Pick a situation where you're ready to learn the lesson and move forward. Got one? Good.

• The first step is to make the decision that you want a different result.

  • Your intention in this situation is crucial.

  • You have to know what your desired outcome is.

• Prepare.

  • Imagine yourself in the situation and see yourself doing the new behaviours you want to do.

  • Remember, keep them simple. For example: Don't underestimate the power of a pause or refraining from answering a text or call immediately. Just do something different.

• Practice.

  • You're working on undoing potentially years of a habitual behaviour, this takes consistent practice.

  • Be patient. Change can take time.

It's not about big, dramatic actions…it's the small consistent actions...the tiny tweaks that lead to transformation.

This is work worth doing. Honour who you’re becoming...who you're growing into. 

Need some help with that lesson? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

You will get the lesson …until you get the lesson.

So you think it's the prize that matters?

If you think that the achievement is the "prize"...

It's early 2026...goal setting is at the forefront of many people's minds. Maybe yours too?

Although December 2026 seems so far away, we both know it will come in a flash...so before you get caught up in the reach for the trophy, the finish line moment...HOLD ON!

The prize, trophy, the medal, the certificate, all are markers of completion. The symbol of the last piece in the puzzle, the final milestone being met. However, if you ask anyone to tell you about one of their achievements, chances are that they’re not going to run over to their drawer and pull out their medal and show it to you. More likely, they’re going to tell you a story.  Why?  Because, it’s the road they took to get there, that was full of potholes, hills and unexpected gravelly spots that made it an achievement. That’s what makes it a story.

Celebrating the road that led to the achievement is what really matters. Learning to recognize when you made progress, noticing what may have gotten in the way, and how you were able to get moving again. The obstacles you encountered that you overcame. No one’s going to tell you about something that went off without a hitch…where’s the story in that?

Why do you want to think about this now? Because when those roadblocks and obstacles come, you need to remember that they're there to become a part of your story, part of the path that gets you there..and let's face it, when you're "in it" it can be hard to recognize the value of every part of the path.

This is life. You don’t have a crystal ball to let you know what will happen so make a plan and start from there.  Some might call this a strategy. The thing about strategies is, if they’re too rigid, you risk missing the opportunities that are right under your nose.  A plan or strategy that has a backbone, direction, and also flexibility, leaves room for course correction. Options. Because a plan without options well…. sounds…. kind of rigid.

Think about one goal you achieved in 2025.

At some point, you started with a "direction", something you wanted.  A setting of your compass.  You didn’t have to know every step, it started with the first one. It might have been a phone call, an email, or to register for that first course. It was all about setting the wheels in motion and, as you continued to take steps, the compass may have started to shift and lead you somewhere else. Notice the feeling of progress as you moved towards your goal. It’s the working towards your goals that gives you a purpose, not the completion. That’s the celebration.



Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Here's some things to remember for the year ahead:

• Achievements give you a chance to notice the patterns that emerge when you’re working hard towards something you want. Celebrate as you go...this will provide the fuel to keep going.

• Notice that taking even the smallest of steps towards your goal, rather than doing nothing at all can make a difference.

• When you get stuck, remember this is all a part of it. What makes it a story. What skills or resources can you draw upon to get going again?

At the end of the day, it is the experiences along the way that make it worthwhile.  Don't lose sight of this! 

Enjoy the ride!

Ready to shift your mindset in 2026? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

So you think it’s the prize that matters?

If it's going to be...it's up to me...

If it's going to be, it's up to me...

How often do we make excuses and look towards someone else to get the ball rolling, to fix things, to *you fill in the blank*...

We abdicate, yeah, I include myself here sometimes. We figure someone else is gonna take charge. Wouldn't that be nice?

How's that working out?

It's a New Year...I know it's cliche...and, a clean slate is available to you to decide what exactly it is that you want. To be clear, we're not talking about the traditional goals for work... that's taken care of by default.

I'm talking about YOU. What do you keep waiting for? Is it the right time, the right circumstances, the right, whatever it is that you seem to think is going to come along one day. When, in fact, I think we all know that all of these factors don't exist, and yet wait we do...

What if you adopted this approach..."If it's going to be...it's up to me."

No excuses, just truly digging deep asking yourself... "How is my mindset standing between me and the things that I want?"

This doesn't preclude you from getting help, it's never about that...two heads are definitely better than one. And...if there's something you really want, you have to take the the initiative. The very first step, and that could mean you're reaching out to someone to help you. That's how it works. You don't have to do it as a solo journey...but you do have to start with the babiest of steps. While you're waiting for the ideal conditions...the time's gonna tick away.

The theme of time keeps coming up because if there's one thing that's sure, you don't get time back. You can't turn around and recoup time, it just doesn't work that way.

• Where have you been waiting for "it" to happen?

  • For the right time, the right person, the specific circumstances or whatever your particular "it" is.

How's that working out?

What if you started with a plan for your first step.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

It's a New Year. I want you to think about that thing that keeps crossing your mind. It's always there, quietly in the background...or maybe not so quietly sometimes.

And if you don't know what it is, maybe talk to someone who knows you well and get them to illuminate that for you. It's the thing that you always bring up and don't even notice you're doing it.

You got it? Great! Now ask yourself:

• What's holding me back?

  • Sometimes it's things like: Not thinking you deserve the thing you want.

  • Or maybe like a lot of people, you're last on your priority list, so it keeps getting bumped.

• Or maybe for you, you're just waiting for that particular person that you think should be doing it, to do it...and they're just not.

Or maybe...

You truly don't know where to start.

What happens when you apply the "If it's going to be, it's up to me" mindset?

Perhaps there are some tough decisions you have to make...some uncomfortable actions you have to take. Or maybe it really is reaching out to that one person and letting that be a start.

It is up to you and you're not alone - Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

If it’s going to be…it’s up to me…

Whoa...hang on a second!

Happy New Year!

Thank you so much for being here! A new year is always an exciting time. New beginnings and opportunities just seem more possible at this time of year. The excitement can be palpable and the temptation to rush into what's next can preclude us from savouring what was, getting the lessons...before we jump into another action packed agenda.

So...Whoa! Before you get ahead of yourself...

Let's take some time to reflect on 2025. Really. Slow down. Take a breath and pause for a few minutes.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

2025 was definitely one for the books for me and I can't wait to dig into these questions. No matter what your year was like, reflecting on “what was” is a useful exercise that can bring clarity as you enter a new year.

Ready to explore? Let's get going with these questions. You're definitely going to want to grab a piece of paper and something to write with.

• What am I ready to leave behind?

  • What better time than the end of a year to ask yourself this question?
    You can carry so many things with you year over year, maybe it's time to leave behind the things that are holding you back or weighing you down. Perhaps it's a relationship you've outgrown, a habit or feeling that you’re done with, an attitude, or even a tangible "thing"?

• What do I want to keep?

  • While setting new goals is always exciting, it's important to remember some of the stuff that you already have that's pretty great. Stuff you want to keep. Relationships, health, friendships, work, useful practices that you do etc.

• What do I want to add or have more of in 2026?

  • While "adding" always sounds good, you may already have some things in your life that you just want more of - family and friend time, me time...you get the idea here.

• What have I put on hold?

  • Depending on the year you had, you may have had to put some things on hold. It happens.  While there’s no perfect time to do that thing you want to do, maybe you do have time for it now. What's one step you could take to get you going?

• What have I discovered about myself this year?

  • Every year brings an opportunity for growth. Spend some time pondering "what did I discover about myself"?

Now take a moment. Breathe. Notice what you're feeling right now. Maybe you feel proud when you see how the year unfolded. Maybe 2025 kicked you in the pants and you're glad to see the end of it. Or perhaps you've found a gap that you'd like to address. There's no right or wrong here.

No matter what surfaced for you, you now have some information you didn’t have before. You get to decide whether you do something with it or not. Something for you to mull over in the coming days. That's the point - to get you thinking.

Sending warmest wishes to you for 2026.

Ann

Whoa…hang on a second!

Follow YOUR path...trust YOUR direction.

Follow your path...trust your direction.

When you say it, it seems like this is just like the Wizard of Oz, and it's laid right out in front of you, like the yellow brick road. Just follow it and if you stay on it everything's going to be fine...and if you dare to veer off it...well, you know what happens.

I don't know about you, but that's never been my experience. In fact, it's often not until I'm back on my path that I realize I've even been off of it...that I've taken a detour.

And the more I think about it...

I think the thing is that it's all a part of your path...the straying from what you think is the way you should be going. Sometimes to what looks bright and shiny, sometimes to things that look like really good options, and sometimes...you've lost your GPS signal.

That realization...that's where the path becomes visible again.

More strongly...even if you don't have the long-range forecast or the GPS locked in. The destination almost feels secondary. Secondary to the fact you've gone through a reset...lost your way...taken a detour... And now you're back online...the GPS has been recalibrated.

How about you?

How do you know when you're veering in a direction that probably isn't right?

Often it starts with a niggling inside that tells you something's off. At first, you probably can't put your finger on it...but it's there in the background. Gradually it gets louder and louder until you can't ignore it anymore you have to investigate it.

We're heading in to a New Year. Maybe it's a good time to examine that path you're on?


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

We're on the cusp of a New Year which is a natural opportunity to reflect and make some decisions. Checking in on where you're heading. Maybe it's one particular area of your life where you need to make some sort of an adjustment. Pick just one thing now, one situation, and reflect on these questions:

• Are you headed where you want to go?
  

  • Or does something "feel off"?

• If you stay on this trajectory, what will December 2026 look like for you?

  • It seems a long way out and yet fast forwarding can provide you with some clarity.

• What little thing could you change about this situation?

  • A little thing implemented consistently will reap transformative results over time.

Consider this...

It's the zigs and zags that make your path worthwhile. It's understanding that there's not one way, one path, for you...that's the beauty of it. The fact that your path can go many directions, not always good, not always where you're meant to be, but always in places and spaces where...if you're open to it...you can learn a lot.

Follow your path. Trust your direction.

Ready to shift your mindset in 2026? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

Follow YOUR path…trust YOUR direction.

Feeling overwhelmed and stressed?

Feeling overwhelmed and stressed?

Of course you are! This is probably one of the most stressful times of the year. Whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanza or nothing at all…the end of the year can create a tremendous amount of pressure. Finishing up last minute preparations or, perhaps, completion of those end of year work goals...and let's not even talk about 2026 goal setting...

Wrapping things up, literally and figuratively.

Remember "Goldilocks"? She knew when the porridge, the bed, and the chair were just right. Not too hot, too soft, not too...you get the picture…

Stress can be like that: Too much and your circuits get overwhelmed...too little and you have no oomph to get things done.  What do you need? Just the right amount to give you the energy to show up to the things you want to show up to...feeling your best. No matter what this busy time of year throws at you.

It's possible. 

There's definitely something about a little bit of healthy stress - that boost of adrenaline - that can make you feel motivated and energetic and ready to get that thing done.

But...how do you put in place some healthy boundaries to ensure that your circuits aren't getting overloaded? 

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Here are some suggestions for managing your resources over the next couple of weeks. Resources can be many things: Tangible things like money, or things like your time and energy.

• Tangible things:

  • Before you tap your card again...ask yourself: When January comes and it's time to "pay up" will I regret this decision to spend my money on this?

• Time:  

  • Before you take on one more thing…ask yourself : Do I have the time to do this thing? Time is finite. We only get so much of it. If you're taking on something "extra", maybe ask yourself: What do I need to say no to in order to do this?

• Energy:

  • This is a tiring time of year. Extra requests are being made of you on top of your already busy schedule. In addition to time, your energy can take a hit. When you get asked to do that thing, ask yourself: Is this really what I want to spend my energy on?

• Selfcare:

  • Probably the most important element in managing over the next few weeks. Taking time each day to do something for yourself. A quick walk, a few minutes of breathing, throwing on a song you like and dancing. Having a chat with someone you love. Whatever works for you. And, a friendly reminder that, NO is a complete sentence.  You don't have to make excuses for taking care of yourself.

Ready to shift your mindset in 2026? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

Feeling overwhelmed and stressed?

Here's the thing about things...it's rarely about the thing...

That's the superficial top layer.

It can go so much deeper.

Picture an iceberg...the tip of the iceberg. It's the only thing that you can see and we know there's so much more below the surface.

It could be the symptom or maybe it's the final straw.

How do you know?

There are several perspectives to consider when you're looking for answers.

First and most obvious is your own perspective. You know what's underneath it all, you can tell that story. It's your experience. Reviewing the situation through your own eyes.

That's one perspective.

Another perspective?

From the perspective of others who are or were close to that situation who could describe it from how they saw it...how they experienced it. You may not necessarily agree with them...because of course, they're also  telling it from their particular lens. Look at it as information. And if no one was actually involved? Imagine how someone else might have experienced the situation.

And finally, consider the situation from a spectator's viewpoint. What?

Picture being at a sporting event or maybe a concert where you're in the mid level seats. You can get a pretty good idea of what's going on but not necessarily hear the words that are being said...but you can see the behaviours and inevitably draw some conclusions...rightly or not... you get another layer to the story.

So why do we think we know what's going on over there when we only have the one perspective. Ours. How are you supposed to know what the thing is when it's embedded in so many other things?

I think a good place to start might be:

• Get curious.

• Ask questions.

• Don't make assumptions.

Back to that iceberg picture that we often see where you can only see the top...the thing that finally came to the surface. In that visual you can see that there's so much more going on beneath it.

Where are you making an assumption right now, thinking that the thing that you see is the actual thing?



Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Think of a situation where you're scratching your head, trying to figure it out. Wondering what's going on when you only have the top of the iceberg as your reference point?

What if you take a moment now to explore the three potential perspectives?

• Your perspective, how do you see this?

  • What are you assuming from your perspective?

• Theirs.

  • What if you imagined stepping into their experience?

• A spectator’s.

  • What would an uninvolved party see that you can't? What wisdom could they add to this particular situation?

What new information do you gain after looking at this situation from all these perspectives? What's different now?

It's getting close to the time of year where the pressure can be high and patience low. Remember...be curious and kind and don't make assumptions.

Ready to shift your mindset in 2026? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann
*Confidence *Mindset *Performance Coach *Author 
www.steppingstonecoaching.ca

Here’s the thing about things…it’s rarely about the thing…