Another moment when...

Another moment when...

You realize and appreciate that you don't have to have it all figured out...and it's so freaking liberating!

So liberating to know that other people have the answers to the questions you have...

It's built into our DNA to want help others.

When you're navigating something new,  remember there truly are many people out there who want to help you...want you to succeed!

I've been a long time believer in focusing on your strengths, because that's where you can shine. I understand what my strengths are, and I'm recognizing the strengths of the people around me and capitalizing on that.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I like to think that as I learn these lessons, I can share my learnings with you.

Don't think for one second that I assume that you don't already know this lesson, but you know what? Sometimes we could all use a little reminder.

...and that's what I'm doing right now. Giving you a reminder to focus on what you do well and to reach out to those around you who can support you...and who you can support... because they don't know everything either.

It takes a village...

They don't have all the strengths you have. It circles all the way back to that part of the bigger puzzle that you are. You are significant and important and so is your contribution, but you can't contribute to an empty vacuum, you have to be part of something bigger.

No matter where you are now, whether your challenge is something that feels personal, it's a relationship challenge, or a particular work situation, these principles apply.

No one has it all figured out...this we know...and you can find people who have pieces of information and experience that you don't have, people who can help you out. Whether you're planning an event, you've just had a new addition to your family, or an unexpected life hurdle put in your path, there are people out there who are more than happy to provide you with your missing puzzle pieces. To fill in the gaps that you can't.



Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

They say it takes a village and it's true. 

Don't have a village?

• Create one.

• Look for someone who's five steps ahead of you and ask them for help.

• Proactively, be that puzzle piece for someone else.

You'd be surprised how many doors open for you when you take the first step and help someone else. It's in your DNA...

Time to explore what's possible for you? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

Another moment when you realize…

What have you put on hold?

What have you put on hold?

I know I've put something on hold…and I'm okay with it... because I asked myself a few questions that provided me with some true clarity.

How about you? Are you continually putting that same thing on hold?

Are you ready to get some clarity?

Let's go!

While I'm a big fan of writing down the answers to questions, I didn't in this particular exercise...and if you feel that's useful, which I believe it truly is, grab yourself a piece of paper and something to write with.

Think about that thing that you're constantly thinking about but not taking action on. It could be anything. It's taking up bandwidth in your brain, but for some reason, you're just not getting around to doing it. It seems to be on hold indefinitely.

Got something? Great. Now explore the following questions:

What am I resisting?

• It could be making a change you don't want to make, that feels like it’s been imposed on you.

What limitations have I put on myself, or this thing that I want, that cause me to continually put it on hold?

• Maybe you don't think you have the skills you need to do that thing. Maybe you think it's not important enough yet. You'll get to it when it's more of a priority.

And the biggie...what am I afraid of?

• This is a loaded one. What fears are getting in the way? It may not be totally obvious right away.

Now...the litmus test. One I routinely use on myself and with clients.



Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

The litmus test? Fast forward a couple of years...

From this vantage point notice:

• Are you truly resisting, or is this thing really not for you?

• Were the limitations accurate, or excuses to keep you stuck?

• How significant is the fear from this perspective?

And the most powerful question?

• Will I regret putting this on hold?

Regret. When you do this exercise you can circumvent regret. Usually, you don't regret the things you did, taking action. You tend to regret allowing what can look so unimportant in the rearview mirror from stopping you from doing that thing. 

What's different now about that thing you keep putting on hold?

Time to take action? Don't know where to start? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

What have you put on hold?

When everything's important...

When everything's important...nothing's important.

It's kind of like being in the middle of the forest and trying to distinguish the trees. It's hard to do when this warp speed world that we live in demands that we assign importance equally to everything. This can be super tricky, especially when you're trying to determine what truly matters versus, what's just noise...and there's a lot of noise out there.

How do you know what to put on the back burner versus what really needs attention? The thing that's ready to come to a boil.

Where do you take a gamble and drop a ball and hope for the best?

You hope that the balls you've dropped are balls that were safe to drop...that the impact won't be too serious. And let's face it...It matters more in some places in your life than others. But the weight of this can feel quite heavy if you don't know which ball to keep juggling and which ball is safe to drop...and typically you don't find out until after it's happened.

Ugh.

It's only through 20/20 hindsight, that you get the lesson...understand the purpose...see the dots connecting. Notice which balls you should've held on to...and which ones were safe to drop.

That's just how it works.

Being willing to gamble a bit. You win some and you're gonna lose some. Hopefully with time, experience and wisdom, you become an expert...you're a better gambler.

And in the meantime?

Remembering that every expert was once a beginner, they dropped balls and sometimes the important ones.That's where wisdom comes from...the mistakes, not the successes.

If you're a beginner in some area of your life right now, if you keep at it…it will get better, that's pretty much guaranteed. If you're an expert in something...remember what it was like to be a beginner.

Both the beginner and the expert could use the same thing...a little bit of patience...one with self and the other...with others.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

It's super difficult when you're in the middle of that forest to recognize the particular trees you should have been paying attention to and maybe appreciating the ones that you did pay attention to...because that's not random.

• Beating yourself up?

  • Kinda pointless after the fact.

• Acknowledging the learning and moving forward?

  • That's the ultimate goal...and so difficult to do when it's attached to failure.

• Reframing.

  • It's always about assessing the meaning you're giving to things.

20/20 hindsight...a gift or a curse?

It's up to you to make that call...but don't linger there...you may drop another ball...

Need some help? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

When everything’s important…nothing’s important…

Time to look in the mirror?

Is it time to look in the mirror?

Typically this is used when somebody needs to face who they are and not always in a good way. Maybe being asked to acknowledge some pitfalls...the things that might be going wrong, that they're not aware of.

This isn't about that...this is about acknowledging that all those things you see in others, that you appreciate and admire, are also in you...that's why you're noticing them. It's also time to accept the grace that you so readily give to others is something that you too are worthy of....those things. 

More and more as I expand my own openness and willingness to be vulnerable and ask for understanding and help, I am exposed to the raw humanity of others.

Their fears and shortcomings that they're desperately trying to hide or compensate for. The beautiful opening that happens when they feel seen and understood. When they realize that failures are expected and that's never the point. The point it is realizing this, acknowledging this, and then learning that these are the things that connect us, not divide us.

That the things you so willingly give grace to others for, are the very things that you too, deserve to receive grace for.

This is the mirror I am referring too. The mirror that is so necessary for you to look in to. To see that you too deserve the same grace you are giving others. Yes you do.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Think of one specific area in your life right now where you're struggling with the idea that everyone else has it figured out and you're the outlier.

Ask yourself.

• If someone told me they were struggling with this very same thing, how would I respond to them?

  • With compassion or judgement?

• What would I say to them?

  • Something harsh, or something kind?

• What kind of understanding would I offer them without hesitation?
  

  • What support would I give them?

This...this is the mirror for you. Look closely at it. What changes when you use this perspective...when you give yourself the same grace you so readily give to others?

Cut yourself some slack...everyone else is in the same kind of boat...

Need help "looking in your mirror"...  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Time to look in the mirror?

Jumbled, humbled, and ready to quit?

Feeling jumbled, humbled, and ready to quit? This is me on the daily lately.

The learning process is so painful. We can forget that the steps we have to go through when we're learning something new are definitely not for the faint of heart. We have to accept that it's gonna be humbling. I don't know about you, but at this stage of the game, feeling humbled is well...humbling. Not knowing feels uncomfortable.

They say the first step in learning anything is unconscious incompetence but I  jumped right to step two...conscious incompetence...

The step where you know you don't know. All the gaps are visible...and it's like a constant flashlight shining on everything you don't know...yet another thing you don't have the answer to.

They say it'll get better and whoever they are, are right. As you move through the next steps of learning...eventually you'll look back and think, oh, I'm doing this now without giving it a thought. 

Kind of like learning to ride a bike or drive a car.

You're going to move through a process:

• Unconscious incompetence.

  • You don't even know what you don't know. 

  • You probably need training wheels.

• Conscious incompetence.

  • You become aware of what you don't know and what you need to learn.

  • Being aware of your balance, the fact that you're losing it, falling off the bike.

• Conscious competence.

  • You can do that "thing" but it still requires your conscious awareness.

  • You're staying on that bike...you're "there", you're doing it, but you still notice that you're doing it.

• Unconscious competence.

  • That moment when you realize you're doing the thing and you don't even realize it...it's become effortless.

  • The next thing you know, you're riding that bike like you've done it all your life.

Unfortunately you can't skip to the last step. It doesn't work that way...ugh.  There has to be some sort of discomfort in order to move through the steps.

Unconscious competence...

I'm still waiting for that step. Mind you, I write these about 5 weeks out, so perhaps by the time this comes out, I'll be there. Hmm, between you and me...I'm a little doubtful...and I definitely know I'll be closer. And that's okay, acceptance, accepting that the pain is part of the process, and it really can be physically uncomfortable to learn.



Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Are you new at something right now and feeling the pain of learning? It can be anything, a new sport, how to cook, anything.

Here's a reminder for you:

You will never grow if you don't get uncomfortable. It's a fact. Learning is one of those things...especially as you move through life. It can take more effort.

It's called "the comfort zone" for a reason, and if you want to keep evolving...you have to move away from it. It is in the discomfort that you grow.

You've got this.

Need some help figuring it out? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

Jumbled, humbled, and ready to quit?

That moment when you realize...

That moment when you realize that the only person you want to be...is yourself.

That doesn't mean you don't admire people that have different skills and strengths than you do. It means that you own the skills, strengths and capabilities that you have, they make you...you. That also includes your quirks and your foibles, your imperfections, your humanness...all those things. It's realizing that yes, being yourself... that's the best place you could ever be.

Some of you have been there for years, fully embracing yourself and may be thinking duh, obviously. I know that many of you are still thinking that being someone else would be nice, maybe easier perhaps.

Aspirations.

It's okay to aspire to learn something from someone, to emulate someone, to model someone...but to be them? I don't think so.

Not being you denies the world of the uniqueness of you...that's important. You are a piece of a giant puzzle, and that's why there are so many different shapes. We all have our own different shaped puzzle piece because the world needs our particular shaped puzzle piece to be complete.

Think about it. Where are you spending time today? Looking over "there" wishing you were more like that person when chances are, they're looking over at you and wishing they were more like you.

We need to understand this very important fact that keeps coming up, you're not supposed to know it all, have it all, be it all. We all know it's true...it's literally impossible. Nobody knows everything, nobody can be everything.

That's why teams are so powerful.  When you put together a group of people with a common goal and different strengths...boom! That's when magic can happen. People playing to their strengths to achieve something bigger then all of them.

Here's what often happens.

Once you put someone in the right situation, they often realize that they don't want to be someone else. They just haven't seen who they truly are, and once they see that, they realize that this is exactly who they want to be. Themselves.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Let's look at your puzzle piece...

• What makes you unique?

  • Maybe it's the environment you create without even thinking about it. People want to be around you.

• Where do you shine?

  • Think about when you're in flow, where you lose track of time and things feel effortless.

• What are your strengths?

  • This can be the things others often comment on that you do so well and you can't see it. It's so natural for you that you don't notice.

Life's too short to be a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. You'll never flourish if the fit is wrong, never be able to be you.

Don't settle. Be you. 

Want to reconnect to you?  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

That moment when you realize…being you is a good thing.

Are you struggling?

Are you struggling? 

Here's a reminder for you in case you need it. You've survived every single day up until this point in your life. The good, the bad, the challenges, the joys...all of it.

You're here now...congratulations.

How often do you stop to recognize this?  To look back, to connect the dots, to understand that every single thing that has happened, has happened for a reason. Yes that's a cliché, and there's a reason that clichés are around...although they can be overused...often they're true. 

You're here...now.

Maybe it's time to reflect, to take stock. To remind yourself of the path that has led you to here, right now. The decisions you made, or maybe those times you chose to let someone else make a decision for you. All of those small things that have gotten you to the now that is your life.

Of course there are going to be many things that have occurred that you had no control over but...you always had a choice...how you responded, what you did with those challenges. Even if you think you didn't...

So...now what?

Where in your life is it time to reflect, to check in? To appreciate that the "struggle" just might have been a gift in disguise. A nudge to change direction.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...


If you're struggling right now, maybe it's a good time to look back at another time in your life when you struggled, where things have resolved, you've moved forward.

Pick one specific situation...a relationship, your career, your health...whatever bubbles up.

Ask yourself:

• What did this struggle teach me?

  • There's always a lesson to be learned if you're open to it.

• How did this experience shift the trajectory of my life?

  • Would this shift have been possible without the struggle?

• What am I grateful for?

  • Think about something you have in your life right now that's a direct result of moving through this struggle...now imagine your life without it.

How does this change the way you think about your current struggle?

We all struggle from time to time, that's a given. Choosing to change direction, take another path? That's up to each and every one of us.

"At any given moment you have the power to say: This is not how the story is going to end." Christine Mason Miller

Time to switch direction? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

Are you struggling?

I know you know and...

Put your own oxygen mask on first.

This advice is critical...critical if you want to ensure that you're ready to take on things that are going to challenge you.

As I acclimatize to my new situation, nothing has become more important than this. Remembering that my state - how I show up - rides heavily on taking the time to get my head straight first thing in the morning.

Can you relate?

So...what does my oxygen mask look like?

I thought I'd share some of the practices I utilize and I'd love to hear from you...how do you ensure that you're taking care of yourself before you step into your day?

Don't have a routine? Maybe this will be beneficial for you. Take or leave...

• It starts the night before!

  • Get a good night's sleep, which includes winding down without screens, practicing activities that relax you...including reading an actual book, or some breathing techniques…find what works for you.

In the morning?

• Start with some quiet time.

  • It doesn't have to be long. Take three deep breaths before you get out of bed. Spend maybe five minutes listening to one of the many meditation apps out there.

• Move your body.

  • A quick 10 minute walk, some stretching or my personal favourite...put some music on and dance. Get your blood moving.

• Be intentional. 

  • How do you want to show up? Confident? Competent? Curious? Look at the day ahead and decide. This is key. Getting clear. 

What about throughout the day?

• Take breaks in your day.

  • Movement "snacks" - walk around your office space. Even better? Get outside.

  • Stepping away, even briefly can give you perspectice and help with problem solving.

• Actually disconnect for lunch!

  • What?! I know. I see very clearly that this is not happening and also see the inevitable risks - overwhelm and fuzzy thinking.

  • As a leader, it's critical that I'm demonstrating this.

Have an unwinding strategy after work.

• Find a way to separate from your work.

  • Prepare a meal with your partner; get outside (I know...I repeat this and it's because it's so important!), walk your dog, call a friend. 

  • Be kind to yourself. At the end of the day...work is work.

What's your strategy?


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge... 

Look at the list above. Pick one...maybe two small things to start doing now.
I guarantee you'll feel better, and if you're concerned about taking time away from other things? These "things" will actually benefit in the long run...

Remember...

You can only push for so long before your body, your mood, your motivation, and ultimately your health...hit a wall.

Take care of yourself first. Always.

Need some help? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

I know you know…and…are you doing it?

Mixed emotions?

It is with mixed emotions...

What comes to mind when you read that?

Years ago...close to ten...I vividly recall starting an email this way.  Now* I find myself saying the same thing...this time...to me.

Mixed emotions, bittersweet...words we use to categorize something that’s a state of experiencing conflicting or contradictory feelings about a situation or someone. 

Make sense?

• You can be happy for something and still be sad.

• Excited and still scared.

• Know that it's meant to be and still want to hold on to something else.

It's the awareness and acknowledgement that matters...is necessary.

Managing those feelings and recognizing the truth of the lyrics "Closing time, every new beginning
comes from some other beginning's end..." by Semisonic

Moving forward to exciting things while ensuring that there's a celebration of what got you there.

Natural progression. A new chapter doesn't mean the others aren't valid, it means that you're adding to your story.

Evolving. Growing.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Are you on the cusp of something that's creating "mixed emotions" in you? That's good! That means you're ready to grow, to learn, to evolve.

Here are some suggestions (take or leave) if you're in this position. Even if you're not in this position, hopefully, you’ll experience this in the future. Yes! Hopefully, because that means you're still willing to grow.

Remember:

• You can be happy for something and still be sad.

  • It's recognizing that the contradictory feelings are normal.

• Excited and still scared.

  • Anything that's going to grow you should scare you!

• Know that it's meant to be and still want to hold on.

  • Remember to celebrate what got you here.

Your story belongs to you. Holding the pen, writing the script, is your job. Not knowing exactly where it's heading? That's what makes it an adventure!

Need help managing your "mixed emotions"...  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Mixed emotions?

Self promotion...icky?

Can we talk for a minute about self-promotion?

Self-promotion carries with it, whether we'd like to admit it or not...a stigma. "Oh, they're so full of themselves. Look at them tooting their own horn." ...many comments along those lines, when, in fact, the only way for people to understand your particular skills, strengths, and capabilities is for you to tell them!

And of course...this tends to be more prevalent with women, which is why:

• They miss out on opportunities.

• They don't apply for the position because they don't tick every box.

• They wait for someone else to tell someone else about how good they are.

And then, no surprise here...they miss the boat. They miss the boat on opportunities that they're capable of but they didn't have the confidence to declare what they have to offer. This needs to stop.

One of the most common reasons I hear for this behaviour?

It feels like bragging.

Here's what actually happens when you're promoting yourself - you're telling the truth about yourself...and if something's true, you're not bragging, you're stating facts.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here. If you were socialized as a female, chances are people pleasing and seeking approval, we're on the menu. Don't get too loud. Don't get too big for your boots. All those different sayings, and if that wasn't your experience...that's amazing!

However, I've seen enough women in my coaching practice to substantiate this information. Not speaking up or promoting themselves because of the perception that others will not like it.


What does this create?

• It creates individuals who are afraid to talk about their skills, strengths and capabilities.

• It teaches us to tamp down who we are because we don't want to make other people feel smaller.

What a load of crap...the ultimate achievement for all of us is to be ourselves and support others in doing the same.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Whether you're a woman or a man, it's time to reframe "self-promotion".

Let's start with some of the many definitions of "self promotion" that are out there:

• Attempting to present yourself to others as an accomplished, capable, smart, and skilled person.

• Your sense of personal identity and of who you are as an individual.

• When an individual tells or shows others their accomplishments, skills, and talents.

The benefits?

• You're letting people know about your exciting projects or what you're learning on the job and this can be a way to teach, connect, and collaborate with others.

Self-promotion is essential for relevance in a competitive and easily distracted work environment...you can't expect your work to speak for itself...you have to be the voice for it.

Nothing icky here...it's a skill...which is good news. You can learn any skill if you want to.

So get out there...toot your horn!!

Need help shifting your mindset...  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Self promotion…icky?