Do I have your attention?
This is a reminder, especially to my women friends and colleagues...
There's one habit you may have that's undermining your perceived level of competence and confidence.
What's the habit I'm referring to?
The habit of constantly apologizing...saying sorry for things you have no reason to be apologizing for.
Sound familiar? You're definitely not alone, which is why I felt compelled to write another blog on the topic...sadly...it's necessary!
I'm on a little bit of a mission here...ask anyone who hangs out with me... I'm asking people to stop apologizing to me when they've done nothing wrong and raising awareness of my cause...one sorry at a time!
Why does this matter so much to me? As a woman and a Women's Confidence Coach in particular, I know the unconscious repercussions of constantly apologizing unnecessarily.
What happens when you apologize all the time?
Others automatically think you've done something wrong. So there's blame associated to you. It's that quick. Even if you've done nothing wrong!
Others feel responsible for "fixing" the situation. Oh...that's okay etc.
Your "perceived" competence is undermined and it really doesn't help you to feel confident if you're constantly saying sorry.
If you're a woman you're more likely to apologize and..if you also happen to be Canadian...it's a part of the culture!
So what are you supposed to do?
Are you ready?
Let's get to it...
Your challenge...
Here are some tips to help you gradually break this habit.
Tip number one which is the tip I like to offer for changing any habit, is noticing.
Noticing whenever you're saying sorry for no reason. It starts there.
Now you're noticing then what?
Pause:
When you're about to apologize, pause and take a breath.
Here's the thing, taking a breath may seem long to you but not to anyone else and this is accessible to everyone...all of the time...you just have to remember to do it!
Running late?
Stifle the urge to say sorry which puts others in the position of reassuring you...
Try saying: Thank you for your patience.
Don't want to attend your friend's dog's birthday party?
Instead of making up excuses try: I'm unable to attend, thank you for your understanding.
When you stop saying sorry all of the time you're going to notice:
Others are going to start responding to you differently…in a good way!
You’re going to be perceived as more confident.
With time and practice, you're naturally going to start feeling more confident!
Want to learn more about how a few sessions with me can dramatically increase your confidence? Contact me I guarantee you'll be glad you did!
Warmly,
Ann
Break this habit and watch your confidence soar!