You can't keep doing the same things and expect a different result...yet that's exactly what we do!
It could be at work, at home, or any other situation where you find yourself constantly looking back with frustration. "They" did that again. I knew it would turnout this way again. I wish they'd...
Maybe it's time to get real and ask yourself: "What's (or maybe who's) the common denominator here?" Yikes, it can be confronting can't it? To realize that if all those different situations aren't going the way you hoped they would, that you're the one that's the common denominator.
It takes self-awareness.
Here's the thing, how you respond to things, whether you realize it or not, contributes to the cycle that you're in. Stop responding the same way...and you disconnect the cycle. It's kind of like a circuit when you unplug the cord, you can't get the same response anymore because you've interrupted the cycle.
It's hard to change how you respond, you're a human, emotional being. When something happens, especially with the people close to you, or in situations where the stakes are perceived to be high, your tendency is going to be to react with emotion, rather than respond with reason.
So what do you do?
Like anything, it's a practice. Start by paying attention to your own behaviour in situations where you're not getting the results you want. Notice what you're doing that's resulting in the outcome that you don't want, because let's face it, the goal is always to get more of what you want.
How do you interrupt a pattern of behaviour when you realize it's not getting you the results you want?
One of my all time favourite tactics? If you don't want to go there...don't take the bait. Much easier said than done...at first.
Are you ready?
Let's get to it...
Your challenge...
Sometimes something as simple as not responding the way you usually do will do the trick.That can include:
Having a new, planned response.
If you think you've figured out what you're doing to contribute to the situation, having a planned response in your back pocket can diffuse a situation before it starts.
This is going to take awareness and practice AND it's well worth doing.
Not responding at all.
When you can see the pattern happening again..take a breath.
That may be enough to prevent the cycle starting and if not, revert to your planned response.
We all have buttons that others know how to press. By responding a different way, you're removing a button and... you can't press a button that no longer exists. This will change your outcome...guaranteed.
Want to learn more about how a few sessions with me can dramatically increase your confidence? Contact me I guarantee you'll be glad you did!
Warmly,
Ann
Are you doing the same thing and expecting a different response? STOP!