Is it a setback or a setup?
Let's face it... setbacks are a part of life. Whether it's in a relationship; with your job; your health...with anything that's a part of your life...setbacks can happen. Often when we look back at the setbacks in our lives, or the things that we defined as setbacks, retrospectively, they were actually setting us up for the next thing that we needed to be ready for. They were the nudge that made us take the other fork in the road, maybe kept us longer in one position than we thought we would stay, or conversely got us out of something more quickly than we thought we would.
The gift of 20/20 hindsight is that it tells you...'oh yeah, that was meant to happen, that's why I'm where I am today'.
It's safe to say: Things don't always work out how you may want them to. Just when you thought you were over yet another hump, another one showed up. A setback.
It's easy in the moment to find the challenges in a setback - "You're so done, if this wasn't happening you'd… You'd rather be…or you wish…etc."
Cue the 20/20 hindsight. Wouldn't it be so useful if you could magically look ahead and check your rearview mirror? From this vantage point what might you see? Often, with hindsight, a "setback" is what became the setup. A "stepping stone" of sorts. It's usually not obvious in the moment, that's why hindsight seems to be the key. When you're in the thick of the forest it's hard to see actual trees.
There's usually some wisdom to be gained from looking at how you've managed setbacks in the past. Looking back can be useful because... you made it through. You can see how the setback paved the way for something else. It's about who you became as a result.
Are you ready?
Let's get to it...
Your challenge...
If you're in the middle of what feels like a setback now, here's a way to get some perspective on it.
Think of a setback you had in the past that you now believe was actually a setup for something that wouldn't have been possible otherwise.
As you do, notice what things looked like through your eyes at the time.
If someone else was in this situation, how would they describe it?
If you backup a bit more, what might an onlooker have said about this situation?
If it was a story or someone was writing a blog about it, what would it say?
Get up and go for a walk or just stretch and move for a couple of minutes or so.
Now think about something you're currently facing that feels like a setback.
Think about the situation from your perspective.
How might someone else who's involved in this situation describe it?
Back it up further and notice how a bystander might describe it.
If you look ahead a few years, how would you describe this situation to someone else?
Sometimes, a setback is an opportunity to progress and grow elsewhere. The opening for the next thing you're meant to be doing, having or being.
When it comes to growing your confidence there's no exception, especially when the setbacks may seem to happen more often than you'd like. They really are the building blocks you require to grow your confidence. And like any other perceived setback...you'll eventually be able to see clearly from the rearview mirror how all the pieces came into place.
100% certainty on anything is only guaranteed in the rearview mirror...
Keep going...you've got this!
Want to learn more about how a few sessions with me can dramatically increase your confidence? Contact me I guarantee you'll be glad you did!
Warmly,
Ann
Is it a setback or a setup?