Hey! Quit looking out there. It's not out there...
"It's" in you already. Whatever it is you think you're missing, you've probably got it tucked away somewhere waiting to be rediscovered.
Sounds cliche and it's true.
What I love about the work I do is helping people uncover what they already have. They and YOU are a gold mine and somewhere along the way they/you've lost your map. My work is to help you find all those things you lost track of. How did you lose track? You got busy doing life, keeping up with whatever it is that you thought you had to keep up with...neighbours, friends, colleagues. Always looking ahead or behind to see where you were, and suddenly...you lost track...of your focus, your clarity, your confidence, your...
When we're talking about confidence, in particular, you really do have all of the skills, strengths, and capabilities you need to reconnect with your confidence. Even if it's only a tiny spark, you can build on that.
The problem with looking somewhere else for it? Your particular version of confidence is unique to you. Yes, there are Hallmarks of confidence but really, only you can decide what confidence looks and feels like for you. Feels like is probably the most accurate and useful way to connect, because, unless you've had some sort of out-of-body experience, every single thing you've ever gone through in your life has happened in your body. It's a storehouse of powerful information for you to tap into and use as building blocks for the next thing you want.
What do I mean?
When I reflect on a time when I was confident and allow a previous experience to come to mind, I can't help but notice the following physiological changes that occur in me:
There's a definite deepening of my breath.
Some tension in my shoulders and neck.
My voice gets slower and lower.
The situation that comes up may vary but the physical sensations are always the same.
What's the big deal?
Over time and through lots of practice, I am able to tap into those "feelings" on demand. What this means is, that whenever I catch myself heading into a situation where I may not be feeling as confident as I would like, I'm able to:
Stop.
Deepen my breath.
Slow and lower my voice.
And bingo...my brain thinks ah, we're doing confidence. Cool.
Why does this matter?
It's a skill, so you too, can learn it! I've worked with clients who are heads of organizations, VPs, directors, and new professionals to this country, from every walk of life, and this has worked for ALL of them and it will work for you too!
Are you ready?
Let's get to it...
Your challenge...
Carve out some time this week to practice this exercise:
Find a comfortable place where you won't be disturbed.
Settle in and take some deep breaths to relax. Scan through your body and notice any sensations, tingling, tension, etc. This is your baseline.
Think of a time when you were confident.
The key here is to go for the low-hanging fruit...like you knew you could make a good cup of coffee this morning.
Whatever comes to mind, trust it.
Your brain doesn't do random so get curious. Notice where you "feel" this confidence in your body. Notice any new sensations or where sensations may have disappeared. Pay attention to your breath and heartbeat.
Sit with it.
Recognizing what your version of confidence feels like will take time...
Practice.
Getting familiar with and tapping into your version of confidence takes time and practice...and it's time well spent...
If you don't have the time, or you can't get there on your own, reach out! I'm really good at what I do.
As a Confidence Coach, I help you to be intentional in all of your interactions. Especially those where there's no "do-over".
Want to learn more about how a few sessions with me can dramatically increase your confidence? Contact me I guarantee you'll be glad you did!
Warmly,
Ann
It’s not “out there”…you gotta look inside…